God is good. All the time.

"I wrote this for a baby
Who has yet to be born
My sister's first child
I hope that womb's not too warm
Cause it's cold out here
And it'll be quite a shock
To breathe this air
To discover lots
So I'd like to make some changes
Before you arrive
So when your new eyes meet mine
They won't see no lies
Just love.
Just love.

I will be pure
No, no, I know i will be pure
Like snow, like gold"

Life is such a crazy thing. It's things like how a life is created and how it grows that makes me KNOW that their has to be a higher power that thought this up. My sister is pregnant and I can not think of anything that will make her happier then to have a child. Her and her husband Nick are going to be such passionate and loving parents and that kid is going to have one very... VERY exciting life. It is so sad seeing how many parents out there are undeserving of their children, but Brittany and Nick deserve one more than anyone on the earth. If I did not have such amazing parents now I would be so envious of little baby Addison or jack! If you ever read this Nick and Brittany please know that I will be there every single time you need me and will always try my best to fill any part you need me to fit into and if I cannot be there to help, I will be trying my best to pray for you guys in every way I know how.

No lies, just love.

Gentleman

To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken." -CS Lewis

"So I wander and I wander. Your absence beating inside my chest. And I try, but I can't remember the color of your eyes - JUST THE SHAPE OF YOUR DRESS!
And through a garden overgrown, nah honey, it's a long walk home. I said I'd not come back, well I'm coming back-but I wont be alone"

Last night I was half way listening to what she thinks she knows, I then realized we are just like children dressing, in our parents clothes saying

"Nobody knows me,

no one knows my name,
No, nobody knows me,
nobody knows me..."
I then half-heartedly explained
but gave up peacefully ashamed
as a glass can only spill what it contains
its like we went to Portugal and Spain

and in her mind the entire time it rained!
a glass can only spill what it contains"

I went back to where we stopped to talk. I realized our paths in life were a lot like the paths we were making in the snow in that parking lot. Yours were collected in one giant circle, just going around and around. Mine never crossed over, came to a meeting point, matched. I think that says something, you keep making the same mistakes and keep working your routine of bringing some poor helpless victim into your circle and going around and around until they finally leave. As for me, I am always striving to move forward, realize my mistakes, then fix them and continue on. That C.S. Lewis quote is amazing, and true. My heart was definitely wrung and broken, but not the way you were shooting for. My heart was broken for you. I realized you aren't the person I thought you were.

I Hope You Find Whatever It Is You Are Looking For.

"i am a man that does not have a way.
millions of oceans can show me, you say.
we still run around like there's no better way,
and i don't stay.

out on the highway in the desert unknown.
i'll find a way to get back to you, though.
i still run around like i don't have a home
cause even when i'm around, i've got no place to go.

and i know i'm not what you need,
but it's okay--yeah it's okay with me.

so how can i tell you i need you to stay?
i've done it before, it don't mean anything.

and i still wait around to see if they'll let me go
through heaven's doors, alone."

The more I learn about animals, and the more I learn about humans; I realize how much alike we are. How competitive we are. How protective we are. How Forceful, territorial, and rude. Matt Chandler says "Everything is a Fixer Upper this side of eternity" and I couldn't agree with him more. Where do you draw the line though? Who is too much of a fixer upper? How do you know when someone is too good to be true? I just know I will pick someone that is perfect on paper and blows my mind but after a few years I'll realize she is just being what she knows I want her to be. (thats a terrible sentence) Isnt it so easy to tell someone "Hey I like that too!" or "Yeah I'm the same exact way" but then 20 minutes later you realize no... you arent like that at all. When it comes down to it we are all just animals with a bigger sex drive and need of companionship.

and i know I'm not what you need,
but it's okay--yeah it's okay with me.