I worked harder then this.

"I'm starting to fashion an idea in my head
where I would impress you
with every single word I said.
Would come out insightful, or brave, or smooth, or charming
and you'd want to call me..
And I would be there every time
you'd need me
I'd be there every time...


But for now I'll look so longingly
waiting...
For you to want me, for you TO need me, for you to notice me"


"Why do people say "there is someone for everyone"? It makes me feel like the odd one out. I'd rather find out who you are, than who you're not."
-The smartest person I know

I feel like on paper I have a lot to offer someone but I must just have some crazy deterrent that I have not realized that just bats girls away. Specifically you. I'm always being told that when I go to college things will be different and girls wont be looking for the "Bad @$" and I will be having them "take a number". What happens when I go to college and that doesn't happen? What happens when I am just as lonely then as I am now? Girls like douche bags plain and simple. Maybe its time for me jump on the band wagon.

Why are you doing this to me?


P.s. I'd be there EVERY TIME you needed me.

Youth and their problems.

"This generation will not die from sin but from a lack of passion”

Youlackpassion.

You're a beautiful letdown

Redemption...

"I've got my hands at redemption's side
Whose scars are bigger than these doubts of mine
I'll fit all of these monstrosities inside
and I'll come alive

With my fist down at your feet
I was running out of mysteries
Insecure and incomplete, here I am,
won't you get me?"

who seeks redemption? Us? as human beings? Who can give redemption? You?
We live in a culture where we need instant gratification and instant LOVE. If we cannot figure something out in a few days then it must not be worth it. If we cannot be what someone else needs we lie. Lying breeds destruction. I am sorry I cannot trust you instantly again... and I'm very sorry your not willing to work on gaining my trust back. I now realize you are a person who does not wish to seek redemption.

How do you measure a man?

"I say the measure of a man
Is not how tall you stand
How wealthy or intelligent you are
'Cause I've found out the measure of a man
God knows and understands
For He looks inside to the bottom of your heart
And what's in the heart defines
The measure of a man
Well, you can doubt your worth
And search for who you are
And where you stand
But God made you in His image
When He formed you in His hands"


What are the qualities of a good man? I have found myself beating this question senselessly into my brain all day. Why are we not allowed to ever say how we feel? Why do we brush of our strong muscular features and act as if nothing ever happened even though we understand people just watched us fall... flat on our proud little faces. I say screw this system of "girls aren't allowed to do '_____'" or "MEN SHOULD NEVER '_____'!" I understand that I am not breaking down any renaissance door steps with my crazy new thinking... because I know beyond the shadow of a doubt everyone has thought it, but few will ever do anything about it and will truly seek change in themselves.

Life really isn't complicated once you realize everyone will let you down.